“They just don’t get it.”
I hear this practically every day.
From folks in nonprofits, talking about donors who don’t understand how important it is to give to their organization.
From political campaigners, talking about voters who don’t understand the intricacies (or even the basics) of public policy.
From social change activists, talking about everybody who doesn’t understand the urgency of their cause.
“They just don’t get it.”
It’s easy to blame others for not “getting it.” After all, what you’re saying is obviously true and right and good, so they must be ignorant, apathetic, selfish … well, take your pick, but it’s clear that they’re flawed in some way.
Not so fast.
Let’s take an extreme case: If you “didn’t get” what Sarah Palin said in her latest commentary on Fox, is there something wrong with you? (My guess is that she’d say so — and chalk it up to the same “character flaws” that put you to her political left.)
Or could it be that you …
- Don’t share her values and worldview.
- Found her sentences incomprehensible.
- Don’t pay attention to her at all. (Good idea.)
In other words, you have good reasons not to buy what Palin is selling. Reasons that are tied to your identity and unlikely to change any time soon.
Now, the distance between you and the people you’re trying to reach is not as great as the distance between Palin and you. (If it is, please stop reading this and go rethink your strategy.)
Even so, your people may have perfectly good reasons not to “get” what you have to offer — at least as you’re presenting it to them right now. Reasons tied to their identity and unlikely to change any time soon.
Instead of blaming them for being themselves, the key is to understand and honor them, exactly as they are. (Isn’t that how you would like to be treated?)
And the first step is to get curious. Genuinely curious.
How do they see the world?
What stories do they tell about how the world works?
What do they value? What do they hope for?
What kind of world do they want?
If they’re your right people, the path to reaching them is in asking those questions … and listening to the answers. Their answers.





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